youre lurking in front of me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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