This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
