I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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