Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i've created a new STD.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
