Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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