Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
