that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize