I faked an abortion last night.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
