i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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