What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
