I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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