Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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