I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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