We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just forgot I was standing up.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
