If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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