Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize