Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize