We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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