Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I smell stomach acid.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
