shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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