we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
