Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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