honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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