Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
