life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
