covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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