thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
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