Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
