I got chris browned last night
Pants 0. Shit 1.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
