do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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