His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
my liver is dry heaving
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
