my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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