Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
