just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
