GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm bleeding and have questions
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
