sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
