So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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