She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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