she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
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can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
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Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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