I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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