K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
its liver damage thursday
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
