3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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