I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
