I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
