I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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