had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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