and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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