Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need water and some morals
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