dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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