I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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