Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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