FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
