Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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