Welp...herpes.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
