So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
