i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
did i walk over a car last night?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
