i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You need a sexual gate keeper
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
