sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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