dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
