His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
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