Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
