Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
