is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
