Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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