I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
