when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize