I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
