Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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