I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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