and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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