Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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